“Whatever you believe will dictate how you behave.”– Dr. J. Lamar Hardwick
I have made this statement on countless occasions to my congregation. I believe it. I’ve witnessed it to be true. This principle transcends race, religion, and culture. It is a universal principle that can be used to predict the behavior and choices of any group of people no matter their background, education, or economic status.
“Whatever you believe will dictate how you behave.” So when it comes to understanding how and why something so heinous and so despicable as a 20 year old Stanford student named Brock Turner getting just six months for raping a woman behind a dumpster we have to take an honest look at our beliefs and not just his behavior.
One of the stories that I struggle with in the Bible is a story that exposes centuries of dangerous belief as it relates to the value of women but first let me give you some quick context. In Genesis chapter 19, two angels arrive at the entrance of the city of Sodom. Instead of letting them spend the night in the city square, Lot offered them lodging at his home. The story goes on to say that men of all ages from the city surrounded Lot’s house and demanded that he send the two men out so that they cold have sex with them. Before I go any further, this is NOT a post about or against homosexuality; instead what I want is for you to focus on Lot’s solution to this situation.
“Look, I have two virgin daughters. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do with them as you wish. But please, leave these men alone, for they are my guests and are under my protection.” (Genesis 19:8)
What has always disturbed me about this story is the fact that Lot’s first and most natural reaction was to offer up his daughters in order to protect the men. Say what you want, and I’m sure that there will be some that will argue with me about this, but there is something disturbing to me about the fact that he was willing to trade his daughters’ innocence away for the sake of protecting two men.
Before we point fingers, let’s consider the implications of what we believe about our daughters and why travesties like the Brock Turner case take place in this country and all over the world on a daily basis. The truth is that our belief about the value of our daughters hasn’t changed much.
Here are a few examples:
- We pay women less because we believe our daughters are worth less than our sons.
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We enforce unfair double standards as it relates to sexuality because we believe our daughters are worth less than our sons.
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We make it difficult for women to serve in positions of leadership because we believe our daughters are worth less than our sons.
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We use femininity as something that is synonymous with weakness or inferiority when we use statements that end with “like a girl”, because we believe our daughters are worth less than our sons.
When we ask ourselves the question, “How can a 20 year old male get caught raping a young woman behind a dumpster and only get 6 months of jail time?” The answer is found in what we believe about our daughters.
We still believe they are worth less than our sons.
We still believe that the sins of our sons are worth protecting even at the risk of damaging the souls of our daughters.
We still believe that our daughters are commodities to be sold, mortgaged, and bartered for our own freedom and pleasure.
We still believe that our daughters are both disposable and despicable.
We still believe that alcohol is an excuse for rape.
We still believe that what a woman wears is an excuse to sexually assault her.
We still believe that our daughters are ours to offer up to strange men to protect our sanitized images of self and the real reason that Brock Turner got just 6 months is because the justice system still believes that our daughters are worth less than our sons.
When moments like this happen, I am not always sure what to do or say so here’s what I think I can do about it and I am inviting and challenging all men and all fathers to join me. As a father of three boys it is my duty to teach them not only how to behave with women, but what to believe about women. Women are made in the image of God, and that’s an image that we should never at any cost, be willing to damage in pursuit of trying to protect our own.
Our daughters deserve our protection but more importantly they deserve our respect.
#respectourdaughters
